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Good morning!

I’m not feeling too bad considering.  Must take it easy though and not get carried away.  Always a mistake for people with ME/CFS, we feel okayish and then do too much, using up our spoons!  I’m doing well on the diet too, I was seventeen stone and a half stone this morning which makes a total weight loss so far of eleven pounds!!  I am aware it will begin to come off much more slowly as time goes on and some of that is because I didn’t eat much in hospital.  At the same time I am eating sensibly and not missing out any meals.  I’m having either two slices of toast or cereal for breakfast, usually a jacket potato for dinner with something like beans and a stew vegetable stew or curry for dinner.  I also have small snacks in the day such as fruit or rice cakes.  So I’m not being silly and going on a starvation diet, far from it!  This is a long term thing and I need to be sensible.  I find that if you eat so little that you are hungry all the time you start obsessing about food and that makes you hungry and irritable all the time and more likely to stop dieting.  This isn’t going to happen quickly so I may as well take my time and do it properly.

Hello

Sorry it’s been a few days again but a combination of being exhausted due to lack of sleep and being in hospital kind of kept me away...  I just need to check what I wrote on my last blog to try and get up to speed.

Hi there

I was pretty tired yesterday and my ankle was hurting so I was feeling sorry for myself and not really in a blogging mood.  My ankle is a lot better today although a little weak so not feeling so miserable!  I went to my doctor today and he prescribed me some anti depressants.  (Oh, The Maudsley psychiatrist promised me she would send a letter to my doc and also phone him on Monday, neither of which had been done...) .A big step for me but one I think needed at this present time just to get me through.  I’m sticking to my diet, 18 stone this morning so 4 pounds down but I do find it difficult if something upsets me or I can’t sleep at night and as I seem particularly sensitive at the moment and I can never sleep then both of those factors are there in abundance!!  I have been good though and taking a banana to bed to help the midnight munchie monster!!

Hello there

Day two of the diet and I’m a pound lighter!  Yayyy, not much but a start!  It’s a bit of a learning process as I go along as I discover things I should prepare for because of the illness.  I went to Colchester today with Malcolm to pick up a bureau/desk Richard had bought off ebay.  He wants to turn the relocated library into more of a study so he can do some research etc.  We decided to make a day of it and go around the shops a bit.  Of course I kept getting weak and ill but I couldn’t have a cake or anything.  I need to be more prepared and take a little Tupperware box with some rice cakes, small squares of chocolate etc.  I even tried drinking coffee (which I hate!!)

Hey there

I’m writing this at a sensible time of 9am for a change!  I slept fairly well last night, I only woke up about three times for any length of time.  I’m surprised I slept well at all to be honest because I went to bed completely stressed.  Malcolm had finally finished decorating the old library room, my new bedroom on the middle floor and Richard had spent all of Saturday moving my stuff down there.  The room is looking all cosy and nice, I get into bed and the bed collapses. The wooden slats underneath broke!  Of course, with my weight issues at the moment I took it personally and was very upset.  To be honest, one of the slats was already broken and that had weakened the whole structure. My original bed was still in my old room so I had to sleep there.  I was pretty depressed about it all and told myself the only way to stop things like this happening was to lose weight.  I got up this morning and published my weight on Facebook in a public humiliation attempt to make me do something about my weight and my worsening health.  This morning I was eighteen stone and four pounds.  I’ll publish my weight on every blog entry to force myself to stick to eating sensibly and losing weight.  I’m miserable and lacking in motivation so maybe if I lose weight I will feel better and maybe feel more energised.  I must make sure I am prepared though, I get very weak at certain times in the day and need to eat so I should make sure I have some rice cakes or something always to hand.  Also, unfortunately the new location of my bedroom is a lot nearer to the fridge, sometimes, being unable to get to the kitchen has stopped me eating in the night so I am going to have to exercise more will power....